Running from Covid

by carol f…..

April 2020

By early March, reports were growing about a novel and deeply concerning virus originating in China. It dominated the increasingly ominous news and the conversations in my senior world. As reports of the disproportionate deaths of seniors in East Coast Life Care and Nursing facilities caught our attention, my son grew increasingly alarmed. We are a small family and his father had died 8 months earlier. He launched a campaign, urging me to leave my posh apartment in a downtown densely populated San Francisco Life Care community. We could create a unit together, with greater control over our own safety. I was deeply touched and began to visit my growing realization that though I was now a widow, I was no longer a weary caretaker. I was now a free agent.  To the surprise and dismay of friends who remained, I packed up my car to it’s limit of visibility, including everything I could think of that I might need over the following 1-2 months.  Nurse Lucy assured me I could come back easily,  just by having my temperature taken to re-enter. I could then promptly obtain what I may have left behind. We had agreed that I would drive to Sacramento and I would self-quarantine for 2 weeks, while Eric did the same in L.A.  I struggled around the issue of leaving the  security of my “home”, to embark on an uncertain journey without any defined parameters including the length of our sojourn.

My dog Wiley and I arrived to a charmed and magical springtime in Sacramento,  a season aptly dubbed “Sacramento Seduction”.  Our small rental home was conveniently  located across the street from my Goddaughter’s family which included 2 young delicious children. There were no Thomas Kincaid candles in the windows, but  it was lovely there as I strolled the streets inhaling the roses in their glory, taking walks whenever moved to do so. Wiley and I  ate easily together on the ample lawn in the fragrant outdoors. I read several satisfying Donna Leon mysteries and painted some 5-6 watercolors of my dog, California Poppies, local trees, and other sketchbook images. It was idyllic, which surprised me.  I’m very social so I spent many hours on the phone with family and friends about our decision.   Part of the seduction was the sense of security that someone I loved was nearby in case any surprises occurred. They were wonderful about helping me order food incorporated into their shopping, and delivering it to my door.   This was  good!  I tracked the news through the hazy ease of local TV.

Surprises arrived soon after Eric joined us with his dog, Buckaroo.  He was ready for companionship & conversation  after several weeks of seeing very few people. Me too. Families can be complicated, and I was far more inclined to hang onto my independence than he was to release me into stores and ill-advised visits with family friends. I was accustomed to the freedom to dip into a small local store for my favorite  Carrot Cake and my basic food group, half & half.  His urgency to keep me alive & out of all stores, felt overblown to me at first.  But dawning realizations occur in a crisis.  We agreed I would not join a rather large family “bubble” consisting of my Godaughter’s family, also including a preschool teacher whose job disappeared, and her 2 yr daughter. I agreed to wait until his arrival and his L.A. doctor had strongly advised against joining this bubble once the word “nanny” was uttered. Too many people, too many vectors.  Then I discovered an 8 year old son of the teacher staying with his grandma at home, who suddenly joined them. The host’s half sister also became part of their bubble and was also given refuge in the garage just outside the house with a bed and small kitchen unit included. Sister struck me as way too “upbeat”, wandering off in the afternoons to gather bouquets of flowers.  Eric’s radar alarm went off immediately at a trial outside  distancing dinner as he realized she was on drugs.  Two nights later when a strange young man crossed their yard and returned again the next day, it was discovered that sister Sue was entertaining gentlemen in the night. She was then sharing in childcare every morning in their household. She put everyone at risk.

Ding: Lesson # 1 when joining a bubble,  make sure you know all the players. As Shep Proudfoot said in the movie “Fargo”, “Don’t know ‘em, can’t vouch for ‘em.”