This Old House

by carol f…..

Late April 2020

My son Eric and I came together in mid-town Sacramento April 23rd to form our new COVID bubble with our two dogs, Buckaroo and Wiley.  My goddaughter had found a lovely small house in which I self-quarantined  & he did the same for two weeks in his L.A. apartment. It continued to be the lovely “Sacramento Seduction” season of greenery, thriving roses and pleasant temperatures. And it was easy to see their young family from across the street & on distanced walks of sitting on generous lawns.  It was time to combine into one household and bubble now. We were new at the game with energy to proceed. Eric found a 100 year old farmhouse in mid-Sacramento that sounded good on Air BnB, fairly close to downtown and in an area in some transition. Along with gentrification, Faria bakery, Fixins Soul Kitchen and lovingly cared for yards, there were neighborhood movies outside, parties late into the night & homeless tents under the nearby freeway. 

The owners were, it seemed, quite inexperienced with property rentals. The place had some true charm and character, including an old front porch, numerous thriving roses and tree sized bushes of Rosemary in the front.  It also had no vegetable peeler or large bowl, no hand towels no bedside lamps.  There was a missing washer on one toilet so it could not be used.  Odd stairs from the living room and the kitchen that converged at an odd angle with a railing on only the first few steps, led up to the second floor.  The oddest feature was a square gabled structure on the rooftop, with one side removed, leaving a very large, dark opening. The owners had planned to close it, but not in time for our rental occupancy there. We shared the concrete back yard with a secondary rental unit, where we could sit, exercise outdoors, stare at the trees & sky with some privacy. 

The dogs quickly formed a band of brothers with Buckaroo our regal, ridiculously handsome, aloof, ball obsessed guy as our pack leader.  He resembles the old RCA records dog. Wiley is a high stung Pomeranian mix of 5 breeds, intense and always up for adventure, extremely curious, food aggressive, and willing to accept Buckaroo’s dominance. It’s been doggie heaven for them.  Both had their masters with them, ample exercise, and many curious corners to explore.  As we made our adjustments on bedroom choices & kitchen quirks, Eric got to work. He systematically assembled odd mismatched school & cocktail chairs, book shelves and a child’s bookshelf unit to create a desk space.  He clearly remembered the 1985 TV series, MacGyver. “MacGyver was a top agent for the Phoenix Foundation, a progressive agency devoted to righting the wrongs of the world. Even more progressive is the genius MacGyver, who never carries a gun and always thwarts the enemy with vast scientific knowledge – sometimes with little more than a paper clip and the duct tape in his pocket.”  Our new verb is to”MacGyver” something.

Things worked well, as we settled into our quirky new home, complete with goddaughter’s family nearby.  Then on the 9th night, I was startled out of sleep at 2 a.m. by  rattling and scratching sounds in the wall 2 feet above my head. This included the loud “pinging” sounds that were created by something pulling at the metal flashing within the walls. The owners, K and C, who were designers and architects, proved themselves to be ill suited for this situation. We repeatedly attempted to establish that the sounds were generated by something bigger than a rat.  By the 3rd night C came over with his flashlight and ladder, and observed a robust female raccoon who moved so rapidly he was sure she was gone.  He proceeded to close up the open roof structure wall with sheetrock, essentially locking her inside. As the sounds increased & sleep deprivation took over, they worked with a “nuisance animal control” person who traps and relocates critters, while we searched urgently for an acceptable option. Mrs. Racoon’s noises increased which made sense when the nuisance consultant trapped mama and 5 babies.  We were out of there!